CNY

Bittersweet, like the taste of Yu-shen with a little too much lime.

On one hand, i am grateful for all the good things. A loving family. A great reunion dinner.
We had BBQ instead of the traditional steamboat.
My liver might be dying anytime soon; so much meat and wine.

One whole week and then its back to studies.

sian.


On the other hand, sometimes we need to make harsh decisions. And i've made one.
Acceptance can only go so far until it becomes blinded.

Acceptance has to be mutual. Friendship has to be mutual.

Friends arent some outlet of convenience; have time then make friends, no time then throw away.

But with spring cleaning, comes the dumping of old trash.
You just have to let the trash go.

I'm gonna let you go now. Even my Guinea pig has more loyalty than that, than you. she doesnt toss me aside when the going gets tough, she keeps no secrets, she waits for me and appreciates me. I get nothing like that from you.

You have one last chance before i drop you. and by golly i;m gonna drop from a high place...

Edge of giving up

Sometimes i wonder why i even bother.

It is true that if i were to not speak, no one would speak to me.

The worse part comes when no one even makes an effort to understand me. Do you know how mind numbing it is to lower myself to understanding you? I try my dest to understand you and never get the same in return!

All you do is make demands of me, yet i never make a single demand of you.

I can only sit there and take so much.

Everything you ask, i do.
All i ask is that you try to understand me, not change me.

ALL I ASK, after trying all my life to understand you all, is for someone else to try to understand me. JUST TRY!! Show that minuscule illusion of interest for frag's sake!

Cos sooner than later, i would stop trying to understand you too.

fighting this feeling

can there really be a true balance?

Why then can i not express this feeling. . .

I feel shut in, pent up. Closed off.
I want to say something but dont know what to say.

Getting used to the sound of silence

So many people talking. Its noisy. I hear them all. All except you.

I made a discovery today. Nobody talks to me unless i talk to somebody. Only my friends talk to me. But even that is not "talk". We merely exchange words, not ideas. We only talk, never converse.

but at least, at very least, they talk to me. I am satisfied. Not happy, but satisfied.

You on the other hand remain silent. Only conversing with your pompous prozac popping partner; your husband/wife. I should have known better than to try getting close to a married individual.

Nobody knows how much i agonise to come up with something, anything that would get you to talk to me. Instead all i get is a nod, a wave, an empty excuse of a reply grudgingly churned out.

Empty, grudgingly.

I have decided to carry on my experiment. I shall no longer talk to prozac addicts; Those unable to wake up and smell the ashes who stupidly insist foul weeds are flowers.

Why talk when nobody ever listens! Why share when nobody recieves!

Its like playing freaking tennis with myself. Serve the ball and nobody hits it back!


I have decided to not talk, and see who talks to me. Those who talk to me, good friends all, Their kindness and compassion shall be repaid a hundred fold.
Those who would share ideas with me will be repaid even greater.

Those that remain silent, no longer exist in my eyes.


Is there really nobody who would truly listen and truly share? I hide nothing from people, why then do they hide from me? Should they ask, i share. Should i ask them, all i get is that half hearted reply.

Is there really nobody to share with? Somebody please return the volley.....

Going to Korea

aww, leaving in 10 minutes time. Going to be in freezing Korea for 6 days.

Honestly im looking foward more to the plane ride than the actual tour, lol.\ Alwasy loved plane food plus i get to sit there and do absolutely nothing for 6 hours except relax and watch movies.



ah, i love holidays............

the meaning of Christmas

Christmas day is pronouced in chinese as "Shen Dan Jie".

"Shen dan"= lay egg
"jie" = festival


Here's wishing everyone a "Fast Egg Laying festival" = "Shen Dan jie kuai Le"(PS: kuai = fast)

My new movie Blog

http://thexamtaroshowvault.blogspot.com/

to start things off.

A review of the ultra-violent NINJA ASSASSIN.

How violent is it?? Well, think of it this way. I'm a huge fan of the bloody SAW movies and I already cringed in my seat at the violence in Ninja Assassin.